Every important decision has to be made three times.
If you act on an important decision without a complete journey through the three yeses, your decision and action may not be as intact and strong as it can be.
Let’s take the buying of your house for example. First you had the instinctive ‘yes, I like this house’, on your first visit.
This first decision is a gut decision. Does it feel right or not?
Then, you asked yourself on the following morning – ‘do I still feel positive about this house?’ The subconscious mind is slower than your gut instinct. It brings forward its concerns the following morning. That’s why people say, ‘I need to sleep on it’. It’s a way of saying ‘I need to get to my second yes.’ This is the second decision point. In the case of the house, possibly you have gone to see the house for the second time, to find out what the neighborhood looks like at a different time of the day.
The second decision, your second yes is when you earnestly engage in the conversation.
You are then at the point of making an offer. Your offer is contingent on an inspection. The purpose of the inspection is to see all the things that you cannot see, to flag all the possible problems. This brings you to the third decision point. The third yes is reached by the elimination of all objections and possible stoppers. This is the yes found by completing your due diligence.
The first decision is at the point. The ‘first yes’ is instinctive and quick.
The second decision is upon reflecting the following morning, or after a couple of days. The ‘second yes’ is a little slower and takes a while to find.
The third decision is after having completed your due diligence. This ‘third yes’ is the slowest. It takes as long as it takes to remove doubts and find the assurance about the positive long term prospect of the decision.
Do not bring analysis-paralysis to the third yes. Due diligence is assessing and evaluating all the known factors and then quantifying the unknowables and guestimating their risk-reward ratio. Once you found the third yes, learn to take action and move forward without looking back.
Now you can use this insight in your internal dialogue and conversation with others. On important matters, ask yourself: “Have I completed my three yeses?”
© Aviv Shahar