There is an
adversary that represents a clear and present danger. It has
to make the top of your CIA watch list. It shows up as
self-doubt, low self-esteem or insecurity. There is almost
nothing more debilitating and dangerous than chronic
self-doubt and insecurity. Here is a little inventory of what
self-doubt, low self-esteem and insecurity can do to you and
to your people:
1. Sap your energy
2. Drain you
emotionally
3. Stifle initiatives
4. Dampen
creativity
5. Diminish morale
6. Separate you from your
strengths and good instincts
7. Produce anxiety
8. Kill
collaboration
9. Paralyze action
10. Deplete the immune
system and make you susceptible to a variety of health
conditions
A wide range of physical and psychological
conditions can be traced back to self-doubt and low
self-esteem. Major studies have linked the incidence of
depression, anxiety, asthma and immune system disorders
directly to how a person views themselves and the level of
care they take or do not take in areas like exercise,
nutrition, sleep, stress relief and cognitive function.
Let's be clear: there is an important
distinction between being unsure in the face of a situation
with inherent ambiguity and having self-doubt, insecurity and
anxiety. Actually, handling ambiguity effectively and
gracefully is a critical competence in today's rapidly
shape-shifting world.
A healthy sense of self-esteem
and confidence is pivotal to effectively handle ambiguous
situations. When the path forward is unclear you need to be
even more centered and poised. You face ongoing
change-technology is evolving, the market is undecided,
relationships are transforming, your environment is
shape-shifting and the outcomes are uncertain. The last thing
you need is self-doubt. These situations require your best
strengths and talents and your confident and capable
responses.
What is the blind
spot?
1. Equating uncertainty about
outcomes with doubts about self
2. Reacting out of
insecurity
3. Personalizing rejection as a value judgment
about you
4. Basing your self-esteem on the oscillations of
public opinion
5. Forgetting that every big success started
with a few small first steps. (Early in their career U2 drew
only 9 people to a gig.)
This becomes even more
critical when you lead. A leader who is full of self-doubt and
low self-esteem creates a paralyzed system. A leader with
sound confidence and self-trust is willing to empower and
trust other people.
Here is the big secret, the inside
scoop: Nobody knows anything
for sure about tomorrow. That's right. All the smart
people you see and hear who talk with confidence about what's
going to happen tomorrow don't really know! This means
you are in good company. Yes, some of them have insights,
hopes, intentions, projections or even a vision and most of
them see the trends, but no one knows for sure. So relax; you
are not the only one who doesn't know.
Take
Action
1. STOP. When
you experience repetitive self-doubt and shame the first thing
you must do is to stop it immediately. That's right; stop it
right away. Change your thoughts.
2. RE-DIRECT. Take
charge; change your thought and change your feeling. Say the
following out loud. "I can be confident in the face of
uncertainty. I am confident in the face of uncertainty."
Believe in yourself first. Remember, you are your first
audience.
3. ACT. Take a positive action. Do something
that helps you connect with a sense of meaning and purpose.
Help another person in need; focus on contributing value.
Confidence is one of the byproducts of consistent and
purposeful action.
Now it's your turn. Be your own
leader. Turn the key. Remove self-doubt and step into your
greater power.
© Aviv
Shahar
