P: Not so good today. I feel I am trying too hard to help too many people. I don’t feel too well. I am actually quite exhausted.
P: Oh, probably 5.3
P: Yes, that is correct.
P: Sure, what do you mean by diagnostic?
P: Sounds good. I am ready.
- You feel you are not good enough. You feel you need to prove something.
- You take other people’s problems as your own.
- You spend too much time thinking what other people think about you.
- You carry a sense of guilt which you try to alleviate by what you do.
- You are not ready to forgive yourself.
- You are too distant from yourself, from your own voice as you are pulled in different directions.
- You don’t know how to ask for help.
- You don’t know how to receive help when it’s offered.
- You feel tired and low in energy because of imbalanced nutrition.
- You don’t know how to stop, relax and rest.
- You mix with people that are not good for you.
- You worry and obsess about things that are outside your control.
- You’ve been disconnected from what you love to do for too long.
- You have something urgent you actually have to do before anything else and you are not doing it.
P responded live, at the point as I listed each of these possible causes. In the end she had five relevant items that contributed to the way she felt – one big, two medium sized, and two small ones. We talked through the issues and we then moved on to step three – planning specific actions.
Step one: Notice – become aware of what is going on.
Step two: Diagnose – frame plausible reasons/causes, discern the relevant ones and grade them by weighted influence.
Step three: Plan – identify the action you are now ready to take. (There are many strategies in this step).
The coaching conversation continued into forwarding the action.
Since it all happened live and P enjoyed the discovery, she gave me permission to post this excerpt here.
© Aviv Shahar