Rachel is a bright executive. She moved swiftly up the corporate ladder and was given responsibility for a large division in her company. She relocated and quickly adapted. Yet, for a few months Rachel continued to struggle. She hadn’t been able to communicate effectively with a key manager. He had been a talented manager and she tried a number of approaches but simply couldn’t get through to him.
When we spoke about her struggle it became clear to Rachel that it was not the manager she was struggling with. It was herself. “It’s my own internal sense of clarity and direction that I am having difficulty finding. My ineffectiveness with this manager is just a by-product. It’s not about him, it’s about me.”
The lights turned on for her when she realized this and proceeded to articulate that what she faced was not ‘doing’ things differently, rather it was finding a new, more powerful sense of ‘being’. It was not a technique to be found on the outside – it was a new knowledge of self, inside her, that she was looking for.
I challenged Rachel to clarify and reach for the things that were absolutely essential for – her core values and vision for herself. She came back with a tremendous sense of self-discovery, liberation and strength. Rachel then realized that she had released something powerful within. She had found a more authentic voice and the results were thrilling.
In the weeks following our coaching, Rachel was cruising at a different altitude. Her focus and enhanced effectiveness surprised even her. “It’s as though I have new amperage about me and there is a kind of grace and joy that accompanies all that I do. My communication is clearer and more confident. It is not an act. I have a compelling inner sense of what is important, of my values and of what I cannot compromise. People respond to me differently. I was able to find a powerful new clarity with the manager I had struggled with previously. I haven’t really changed a lot of what I say; it’s that I am now able to come out from a different place. The conviction and the energy come from the inside and other people can’t help but notice.”
© Aviv Shahar